I've always considered my husband a good writer and wonderful storyteller. Then why was I nervous about reading his first book?
What if it sucked? Could I tell him that? I don't like confrontation. I'd rather just go with the flow than go against the current. Besides, I live with him and there is no avoiding him if I don't like his writing.
I have always had a lot of anxiety reading when I know the author. Why? Maybe because of the fear of giving an honest opinion if asked. If I didn't like it then I may hurt their feelings but I don't want to lie either. With fiction, what if the subject matter is an uncomfortable subject? I'll give an example.
Years ago I read a book that was basically about a voyeur who spied on his obese neighbor. I met the author through my job. All I could think about was what kind of pervert could come up with such a story?
But after some time I realize that the imagination is a powerful thing and not every idea we ever have is based on reality - well maybe not our reality - and that when we write some of those ideas can just flow out - even if they might be unpleasant ones.
So I worried about reading what my husband wrote. Would I like it? Could I tell him I didn't? How excited do I really need to be? If I am too excited, then I'm faking it but if I show no excitement then that is just as detrimental.
After reading the draft of the first chapter, even though the story was not my cup of tea, I liked it. I mean it was rough at parts. Spelling, grammar, and word choices were at times not the best. But I found that I was able to talk about what I didn't like and point out these issues. The Hunger - his first book - is about a Parisian ghoul who keeps a diary to remind her of her humanity. It is an interesting concept. His ghoul is inspired by H.P. Lovecraft’s description of ghouls. This isn’t my genre at all. I’m more of a sci-fi or romance reader.
And you know what happened when I gave an honest opinion? He didn't throw a fit or tell me how wrong I was. He listened, gave comments on things that seemed out of place. It was a huge relief. I want to support his dream of writing novels fully and honestly. I definitely want to read what he writes and discuss it.
So now I feel not as anxious about reading the works of people that I know - which is a good thing because I know way more writers today.
This is a new level of adulting for sure. It’s also a great feeling to overcome an irrational fear especially when it helps someone you love. Now I can give honest feedback to my writer husband without fear.